Commercials
by haveyounomercy
Summary: Commercials can be an evil thing, Ryoma decided later on. One-shot, crack, Thrill Pair.


**A/N Crack. Total, utter, crack. This is a request!fic from a strange conversation me and Coffee-chan (coffeelatte) were having. Thrill Pair, set a few years later after Canon, when Ryoma is in England and 21, while Fuji is back in Japan and 23. **

**You will not understand this if you have never seen a Jello commercial. **

**Disclaimer: Let's be reasonable now, shall we?**

* * *

Echizen Ryoma put up with a lot of things. In fact, he considered himself as pretty tolerant.

Or, at least, as tolerant as a person could be if he was dating Fuji Syuusuke.

* * *

"Ryoma-chan." The soft, melodic voice on the other side of the phone line greeted.

"What do you want, Syuusuke?" Even Ryoma was entitled to be annoyed, right? Especially when his boyfriend insisted on calling him that ridiculous nickname when he was so obviously 21 and mature.

"I just felt like calling you. How's Wimbledon?" The voice practically chirped. Ryoma knew otherwise. There was nothing such as "just felt like" in Syuusuke's mind. Everything was meticulously planned to the very last detail. And most of the time, he even knew what was going to be the result.

"It's fine. All the other players here are weak. I'll be playing in the finals tomorrow." Ryoma cockily replied. He was shaking up the tennis scene, and boy did it feel good. Well, he wouldn't have expected anything else.

"I know." Came the eerily cheery reply.

A moment of silence passed between the two.

"Ryoma-chan," Ryoma cringed, knowing that the true reason behind the phone call was slowly revealing itself.

"Yes?" He felt wary, but he kept his voice steady and cool.

"There's something really interesting on TV, why don't you turn it on?" Warning bells rang in Ryoma's head. But nevertheless, he obediently switched his TV on.

"Channel 47." Syuusuke's smooth voice projected his smile through the phone.

"I'm in London, Syuusuke. The channels aren't the same." Ryoma protested.

"I know." It was beyond creepy, really, how Ryoma could just see his boyfriend sitting in front of his TV, smiling while toying with the telephone cord.

With a deep breath, Ryoma prepared himself for what was to come and switched the channel.

"_Tired? Tylenol helps dissolve pain…"_

"It's not that." Syuusuke assured before Ryoma had the chance to ask.

"What are you playin-" Ryoma was cut off before he could say any more.

"It's starting." Syuusuke interrupted. Ryoma stared at the screen as his own face popped up on the screen. Huh?

"_Star rookie Echizen Ryoma has been tearing down all his elder opponents at Wimbledon without a sweat!" _

_A tough theme music began playing as they showed various scenes of Ryoma beating the crap out of random famous players._

"Damn right." Ryoma leaned back in his chair with a smirk.

"_Does this Superhuman ever get tired?"_

_They focused on a picture of Ryoma sweating under the sweltering heat._

Ryoma felt a weird tingly sensation on the back of his neck, as if something dreadful were to come.

"_Of course he does."_

_The scene changed to a regular-looking kitchen where Syuusuke stood, smi-_

Wait. What?

Ryoma stared at the screen disbelievingly. Syuusuke was standing there, smiling.

In a dress.

With bows in his hair.

Looking like a perfect girly girl.

"Syuusuke-"

"Shh. Be quiet and watch."

"_When my honey gets tired," Syuusuke pulled the refrigerator door open and took a weird looking package out. S/he giggled. Giggled._ _"I always give him Jello to freshen up his senses and let him play his best!"_

Ryoma watched, speechless as the on-screen Syuusuke then proceeded to do the Jello Jiggle Dance, ending in him/her being part of the letter E in the ending position.

"What. The. Fuck."

"Isn't it nice? I went through a lot of trouble to make that."

Ryoma just groaned and collapsed in a heap on his couch. Then he stiffly sat up straight again.

"Syuusuke…"

"Yes?"

"When did you learn such flawless English?" It had been like Syuusuke was a local like himself.

"Lucas is part Canadian."

"Lucas is a catus."

"I know."

* * *

Ryoma put up with a lot.

But he really didn't know what to do when he found that every freaking channel was displaying a clip of his boyfriend dressed up as a girl and doing the Jello Dance every commercial break.

Which was totally not the reason why his fridge was currently stocked full with Jello.


End file.
